Abstain from comparing yourself to others, especially those of you who are egged to do this using other's social media persona as the yardstick. Real-life starts when you know who you are, and what you are capable of doing. Let me shock you.  Like Dave Ramsey said, most of the people you envy in the social space buy things they don't need, with money they don't have, to impress people they don't like. So appearance is not always reality. Don't let anyone subject you to any pressure. You're doing just well.  The finish line is there, but every runner starts from different spots; some way behind, some just need a few steps to reach the final line. It's not wisdom to compare your beginnings to someone else’s middle.   You don't know everyone's story. Some ere encouraged and were invested in the best schools to follow their dreams, others had to worry if they had enough food to eat and not die of starvation. Only compare yourself with who you were, it i...

I used to, like many people still do, get stupefied, and presume Nigerian-bred individuals who use cutlery to eat swallows are just being conceited and ostentatious...like showing to be civilized. What happens to their hands, I would mull.  Luckily for me, my former boss instanced a narrative that changed my perspective. She said, paraphrasing, you don't do or learn to do things because of where you are but where you are going. It is called having a next-level mentality. Would you use your hand to eat at an international event, or when invited to dine with high profile people? Won't you be abashed? This is not about culture. The English language is not our culture. Nothing deters you to eat with your hand in your home, but learn to use cutlery because of when you'll need to use it.  This is far-reaching, even beyond food. This is why I don't snide at people who try to mimic the American/British accent. If it something they think would help them, why not get it.  Let you...

 Nigeria at 60 It's alarmingly worrisome that Nigeria is just aging but rarely growing. Only the sycophants of government would agree less. Our status quo is far from being commensurate with our wealth and resources. And to argue that still remaining as one indivisible country is worth celebrating, is a charade. Is like trying to draw fresh water from a bitter source. Leadership is jeopardizing living together as one entity. Our patriotism and resolve are being threatened and severed on daily basis. Incidentally, the country's future looks bleaker now than before. Recent events raise more fear than hope. It is heart-wrenching to see that the number of people who are ready to steal is more than those who are currently stealing. Many unashamedly but braggadociously bent that they are milking the country dry on getting to the corridor of power. This pattern of junk thinking further intensifies my fear. I pray I don't reach my breaking point where I will give up hope on this co...

Inarguably, nothing worthwhile gets done without you being deliberate/intentional about it. Not even living. And this is a pitfall young adults should be wary of. Only those who are ambivalent rely on the rhetorics of luck and charm to achieve something. "Whatever will be will be" is a hoax. What so ever you do not intentionally make be will not be. Unknowingly to people, luck itself is what we make it, not what is thrust upon us. You don't get lucky while sitting on the sofa with arms crossed doing nothing. The harder you work, the luckier you get.  So, being intentional is an act of making our own choices before others' choices make us. It's choosing to create the life you want, rather than having a life, or other people, dictate your actions.  It's taking an inspired action that is in alignment with your words & truth. It's focusing your energy, time, and attention on important things in your life. "Put these abilities to work; throw yourself i...

 I often wonder why people are too bashful and reticent to say they are in between jobs. Is it becoming something like a far-reaching stigma or contempt that one is not good enough? Or being cursed or enchanted? I beg to disagree if it was. We all should know that it has never been a disease to be unemployed. Your present situation does not have to define who you are. That you're a job seeker now does not infer you'll be in this situation forever. Nearly every professional you see today was once in that shoe.  Worthy of note is that we're all going somewhere but we'll never get there on the same day. In other words, we may not score the bull's-eye at the same time. That you are mates does not mean we get employed the same day. Understandably too, God's way is beyond our ken. He will make people some people go before others to prepare a way for others. Some people will get a job first so that they can help others get theirs. So speak up! Tell everyone who cares t...

  I noticed long ago quite a few things about me that I erstwhile considered very bizarre. Gladly, pushing for enlightenment has helped in reading meaning to some of them. One of these is the ability to recognize faces that I have only seen briefly before, or have undergone substantial changes in appearance. Frankly, I didn't see it as something that transcends the ordinary. I just watch it spontaneously find expression in me, more or less like a flashback; even to my amazement most times. I've never read or heard anyone talk about it before, neither have I researched into it until yesterday; and what I found was revealing. Someone had sent me a friend request on Facebook; and on checking her profile, I could easily recognize her face. We were once Sunday School teachers at my parent church some years ago in my hometown. I accepted her request and we exchanged pleasantries, only for her to tell me that I look familiar but she can't place my face. Arrghh! I was stupefied. Fr...

Everything always seems impossible until it is done. I've had this lingering predilection for the creativity/design niche, howbeit, the thought of not being a computer science graduate kept holding me back. I resolved to shrug it off in 2020 and went all out foraging for those skills.  Excitedly, I have many of them at my disposal now, and the ripple effect on me is evident. Now I know it, skills augment your value. You don't get valuable by mere word of affirmation. Your value is the weight of the problems you can solve and the difficulty in finding a suitable replacement for you.  For those thinking 2021 will automatically roll away the bad experiences you had this year, na lie ooo. Time doesn't heal or transform anything, it is what you do with the time that counts. You'll still get the same result if you do the same thing you did in 2020. No magic about that. Our life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. You want to get something you never had, y...

Remember the movie, 3 Idiots, right? It is still one of my all-time favourite movies globally, not just Bollywood. I doubt if it isn't yours too. Also try to recall that the main character, our very own Ranchoddas "Rancho" Shamaldas Chanchad left us with this profound statement that has changed perspectives. He said, “Pursue excellence, and success will follow, pants down!” The foregoing brings us here. First, about the misnomer of the word, success. Success is subjective but societally defined to only be the fatness of one's bank account. This is probably one of the biggest traps that people fall into. That is why people are in the rat race of making money either by hook or by crook. Success is not just in the amount of money you've made, it is in your degree of value and kindness. And your value is the worth of the problem you can solve and the difficulty of finding a suitable replacement for you.  Incidentally, nobody has become successful by pursuing it, becau...

Interest can be transient as they come, you know! I was discussing the wane in my feeding habit with a senior friend lately; I that hitherto could singlehandedly gulp pounded yam meant for seven people now finds it less appetizing to even eat. His response that I now have another interest/responsibility that flattens the urge for food is irrefutable; conversely to the time my parents shouldered all responsibilities. The same can be said of our present pursuit for money and relevance. It is not incongruous to note at this point that time comes when looking for money and recognition becomes a shadow of something else: Legacy and Succession. These two things people usually tie to old age; and they give more meaning to one's life and living. However, with life expectancy set to reduce as time goes by, provided those life-delimiting factors are not reversed, many people pass on unexpectedly without having to set a legacy neither a succession. So I think it's wisdom to plan fo...

SELFISHNESS v SELF-PRESERVATION Selfishness is thinking of yourself ONLY! Self-Preservation is when you think of yourself, BUT with others in mind! If you we’ve ever travelled by air, you will recognize this image. I used to wonder why the cabin crew always told us to wear our Oxygen mask first, before attending to the passenger sitting next to us, even our children. It felt completely irresponsible and if I may say so, selfish, that adults would take care of themselves first, before taking care of even their children; during a drop in oxygen level‬ Thanks to a NASA research, we now know that “by helping others first or ignoring the mask altogether, a person will begin to lose his or her ability to recognize faces and shapes, and eventually pass out” - HuffPost. It was when I read this that I stopped judging the process. 2020 (+ possibly 2021) is a year of low oxygen level. It’s a year when we are all on a depressurized global airplane cabin. You’re not being selfish for looking...